Light Yagami: User Guide and Manual
by Blinded Chubi
Summary: Number two in my series of Death Note units. Enjoy, sweethearts!


**Light Yagami Unit: User Guide and Manual**

**Congratulations, you have purchased your very own Light Yagami unit! To ensure that you are not harmed, psychologically tortured, or killed via Death Note, we here at Unit Co. have provided you with this manual.**

**General Information**

**Name:**** Light Yagami. Will respond to 'Light', 'Yagami-kun', 'God', 'Kira', 'Light, my darling!', 'Killer', 'Genius', 'Sexy', 'Banana Republic Reject', and 'Prissy Boy', though he will respond negatively to the last two.**

**Age: ****Born February 28, 1986, but is manufactured to look 18 years of age.**

**Place of Manufacture: ****Unit Co., Tokyo Division**

**Height: ****5' 8''**

**Weight: **** 119 lbs.**

**Length: ****The new world isn't the **_**ONLY **_**thing he's the god of…**

**Your Unit Comes With the Following:**

**One (1) **Death Note

**One (1) **basket filled with fifty (50) apples

**One (1) **wristwatch with a collapsible secret chamber, containing a scrap of the Death Note

**One (1) **pen, used to write extravagantly

**Three (3) **preppy blazers

**Twenty (20) **bottles of hairspray

**Twenty (20) **bottles of hair gel

**Removal of Your Light Yagami Unit From Packaging**

**Light units have a tendency to be slightly irritable when woken up, but unless the package has been tampered with, you will not be killed by a heart attack. Probably.**

**In order to ensure your chances of survival, we have enclosed the following ways to safely wake your Light unit:**

Open the box and politely ask Light to wake up. Unless he has been jostled during shipping, he will wake up and greet you politely. **UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES ARE YOU TO ANSWER HIM IF HE ASKS FOR YOUR NAME. IF YOU MUST, GIVE HIM A FALSE NAME.**

Yell, "I will worship Kira, whoever he is!" Light will open the box and smirk devilishly, telling you he is Kira. **Note: Unit Co. is not responsible for any fangirl induced fainting/fangasms/terminal squeeing upon witnessing Light's smirk.**

If you have an _**L Lawliet **_unit, tell him to walk up to the box and tell Light to come out, or else his suspicions of him being Kira will increase by 99%. Light will grumble and complain that he isn't Kira, but will come out anyway.

If you have a _**Misa Amane **_unit, take her to Light's box and tell her that he is inside. She will immediately cry out in joy and tear the box apart to free Light, and then proceed to hug him. **Another Note: Unit Co. Is not responsible for any damage caused to your Light unit by a Misa Amane unit glomping him excessively.**

**Reprogramming**

**Your Light unit comes with the following modes:**

_Calm (default)_

_Plotting (default)_

_Suave_

_Ultra Rage_

_Murderous (locked)_

_Insane (locked)_

**The first mode, **_Calm_**, is a default mode that Light comes in, along with **_Plotting_**. In **_Calm, _**Light acts an everyday normal person, and is very calm and able to appropriately respond to certain situations (even though he may be hiding his true emotions). In **_Plotting_**, Light is constantly scheming and seeing how he can use you and other people/units to achieve his goal in becoming the god of the new world.**

_Suave _**is unlocked when he needs to be extra smooth around someone, usually a female he wants/needs to manipulate. Usually, this mode is unlocked by leaving Light with a **_**Misa Amane **_**unit. In this mode, he will be extra caring to people, listen to their problems, and even act romantic around them. If you own both a Light unit and a **_**Misa Amane **_**unit, please be careful if Light is in **_Suave _**mode around you or other women in Misa's presence: She WILL get jealous and write names in her Death Note.**

_Ultra Rage _**is unlocked when Light is upset about something impeding his goal. This mode is almost always unlocked by an **_**L Lawliet **_**unit getting closer to proving Light is Kira, or a **_**Misa Amane, Teru Mikami, **_**or **_**Kiyomi Takada **_**unit doing something wrong. In this mode, Light will lock himself up in his room and yell incredibly long monologues. You can get Light out of this mode in two ways:**

Let him write a few names in his Death Note

If you have a _**Ryuk **_unit, make him go up to Light to calm him down.

_Murderous _**and **_Insane _**mode are locked for your own safety, and if they are unlocked, you may want to call our Customer Hotline for assistance in goading your Light unit down. In **_Murderous_**, Light will constantly write names in his Death Note until he is satisfied/calm. NOTE: LIKE WE SAID BEFORE, DO ****NOT**** TELL LIGHT YOUR REAL NAME, OR THE NAMES OF YOUR LOVED ONES. WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY DEATHS CAUSED BY A LIGHT YAGAMI IN THIS MODE. **_Murderous _**can be caused by anything upsetting Light to the point where he nearly enters **_Insane_ ** mode, which can make this unit very troublesome for first time unit owners. **_Insane_ **is unlocked when a **_**L Lawliet **_**unit, **_**Nate River/Near **_**unit, or **_**Mihael Keehl/Mello **_**unit can prove that Light is Kira in the eyes of the law.**

**In **_Insane _**mode, Light will laugh hysterically and (again) make long monologues about himself, mostly about him being the most noble person in the world. After the monologues , he will try to kill the unit that has proved he is Kira with the piece of the Death Note he keeps in the watch he came with. Your only way to get Light out of this mode without calling Unit Co.'s Help Hotline is to try and get the piece of the Death Note away from him, and then knock him out somehow. When he wakes up, he will be out of **_Insane _**mode, and after that you must erase the memories of the people who knew he was Kira. **

**To erase other unit's memories, merely reprogram to their default modes, and then twist their left ear three times. The reason we ask you to do this is because this is the proper technical combination to reset their memories.**

**Relationships with Other Units**

**L Lawliet:**__**These units have a variety of emotions for each other, which you can interpret any way you please. At first, their relationship can be from petty rivalry to friendship. Whichever one they choose upon interaction, their relationship can be taken a step further by way of:**

**Angry Sex**

**Love/Hate**

**And in some cases, even bondage. **

**If you wish to put these two into a romantic/sexual relationship, merely handcuff these two units together for a long period of time. A relationship will blossom like wildfire. The results of this pairing can get incredibly hot, so we suggest setting up video cameras to watch them make the yaoi-whoopie you so desperately crave.**

**Beyond Birthday:**__**These two units don't know each other very well, and should they ever meet they would probably just try to manipulate each other. However, if you are able to have them establish a relationship (and the chances are somewhat slim), it will be Beyond who is the seme, always. WARNING: Should a user pair these two, know that there will be bloodplay, bondage, and S & M. So if that's your thing, we suggest that you set up LOTS of video cameras!**

**Misa Amane: ****Light units tend to try and avoid Misa Amane units unless they are manipulating them, or are in **_Suave _**mode. However, this is a relationship that can easily be activated by leaving a Misa Amane unit alone with a Light unit for a period of time. If you wish to see any physical interaction between the two, Light will need to be in **_Suave _**mode. Misa Amane units are also one of the units than can very easily push Light units into **_Ultra Rage _**and **_Murderous _**modes if she does something wrong.**

**Teru Mikami: ****Teru Mikami units worship Light units, and will follow them constantly. Light units don't really mind, as it helps if their allies are close by while they are scheming. However, it is very easy for a Light Yagami unit to slip into **_Ultra Rage _**and **_Murderous _**mode around a Teru Mikami that doesn't follow orders well.**

**Ryuk: ****These two units are very compatible, as Ryuk is Light's Shinigami. Ryuk is actually an ideal unit to have with a Light unit, as he's usually the best unit to get Light out of **_Ultra Rage, _**and when he wants to, he'll usually get Light out of **_Murderous _**mode as well. Not to mention he likes getting into Light's basket of apples!**

**Rem: ****Light units and Rem units are mutual; in fact, the only time Rem units will ever be hostile towards a Light unit is if he threatens a Misa Amane unit.**

**Nate River/Near: ****These two units are rivals, but unlike an L and Light unit, these units cannot form an actual relationship other than their rivalry. Try to keep their interactions with each other at a minimum.**

**Mihael Keehl/Mello: ****These units know they are rivals, but don't really interact much. A Light unit will be cautious around a Mello unit, but as much as he would around a Near unit.**

**Matt: ****Light units have the same relationships with Matt units as they do with Mello. As such, they don't really interact much, and when they do, it's very casual acquaintance, if anything. **

**Cleaning**

**Light units are perfectly capable of cleaning themselves, as well as doing his own hair. WARNING: DO NOT OFFER TO HELP LIGHT STYLE HIS HAIR OR TOUCH HIS HAIR. HE WILL GO INTO **_ULTRA RAGE _**MODE.**

**Feeding**

**Light units eat anything you will make for them, however they do like to**

**take a potato chip….AND EAT IT!**

**Rest**

**Light units sleep like an average studious college students, and are somewhat routine. He likes sleeping alone, and dislikes people sleeping next to him (Though with Misa Amane units, he really doesn't have a choice). If you want to sleep next to him though, he won't complain.**

**Frequently Asked Questions**

_**Q: My Light unit ran out of hair gel and is freaking out! **_

_**A: Light units are very temperamental when it comes to hair products and their own hair. What you need to do is call out Help Hotline and we will send you fifty more bottles of each hair product.**_

_**Q: Why is Light refusing to wear the clothes I bought for him?**_

_**A: Light units are very specific with what they wear. If you bought him t-shirts and casual wear, he won't accept them. We suggest you go to the nearest GAP and Banana Republic and buy him some button up shirts and blazers immediately.**_

**Troubleshooting**

_**Problem: Your Light unit is complaining about how he's handcuffed to L. "How are we supposed to shower?"**_

_**Solution: Set up a video camera in your shower and tell Light that he'll merely have to shower with L. Let the yaoi begin!**_

_**Problem: Light is smirking in a really weird way, and it's starting to creep you out.**_

_**Question: Smirking weirdly is a clear sign that your unit is in **__Plotting __**mode. If he keeps smirking at you specifically, he's most likely thinking of a way to use you in his plans. Be on guard!**_

**CONCLUSION**

**With enough patience, care, hair products, and the ability to keep a hot murderer in your house, you and your Light unit will get along just fine. Thank you for purchasing from Unit Co. for all of your unit needs!**

*********A/N********

Yes, another one done! Well, I'm glad so many people responded to this fanfic, and I'm looking forward to making more of these. Which Death Note character should I write a manual for next? I'm really interested in doing ones you want first, so give me a literary holler. See ya soon!

Love,

Everyonesfangirl13579


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